I've never really had to go through the grieving process. My maternal grandparents both died when I was young, but I don't think it ever really hit me. I've never had anyone else close to me pass away.
My mom called this morning and told me that Flossie, my family's sweet Australian Shepherd, has breast cancer that spread to her bones. The vet wanted to put her down this morning, but my mom said she wasn't ready yet. I'm really grateful that she waited so that I could have some time to get used to the idea before she actually dies. She will most likely be put down this Tuesday.
I was surprised at how emotional I got when my mom told me. After all, she is just a dog. Then I started to think about it and came to the conclusion that Flossie was not just a dog. She was a friend, a protector, and a companion.
In the summer of 2008, I flew home to babysit my siblings for two weeks while my parents were on vacation. I remember sleeping in my parents bedroom during that time (because I could hear Alli better if she woke up in the middle of the night) and getting really scared over any little noise I heard. Finally, I broke the house rules and let Flossie come sleep by the bed. She stayed there faithfully all night, right by my side. I felt better knowing she was there. One night, I was crying because I missed Morgan and for some reason we couldn't talk on the phone. I remember Flossie put her paws on the side of the bed and looked at me...I knew she wanted to make sure I was okay. She was always such a good friend.
I thought of all the times that Devin would stroke Flossie's head and say in his cute, long drawn out voice, "Flooooooooossie." He would even lower his cup of milk for her to lap up when my mom wasn't looking. I loved how Flossie would bark when she heard Devin blowing his nose or shutting a door from the other side of the house. Somehow she always knew it was him!
Then there were all the times she would yip and yap when my mom would call my sister "beautiful." Apparently Flossie liked the attention. :)
I'm sad that I can't be there this week. I'm sad that I didn't take more pictures with her. I'm sad that Devin is losing one of his closest friends. I'm sad that my mom is losing her "ears." I'm sad that my dog is dying.
It's been a rough day. I really hope that dogs can be resurrected too. Because I want to be able to see Floss again.
3 comments:
I trully believe that there will be animals in heaven. I can't imagine a God that would let us love and care for these great creatures just to watch them die and never see them again. You will see Flossie again and she will be so happy. Love you Cate.
{correction ... mommy taught dev how to share his milk with flossie. It was the sweetest treat for all of us}
Another "treat" I will always remember ... is Floss helping with the Alli clean-up. ;')
Morning cheerios ... afternoon cheezits ... and evening pasta.
Flossie was slightly more human than canine.
We will miss her ... and this Thanksgiving we are thankful for all that she did for our family.
I am sorry for you loss. That is one cute dog!
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